Day 1 ... NOT

I was all primed and ready to go. I had already stopped off at Dick's Sporting goods to get the plyometrics/yoga mat, the "Perfect Pushup" handle-thingies, and a couple of yoga blocks, as I had read in the quick start guide.

I moved a piece of furniture out of the way of the TV set. I set a bottle of water nearby. I pre-dialed 9-1-1 on my mobile phone so that, in the case of my heart seizing inside my chest, I would only have to press "Send" ....

But no. I opened the book of DVDs and the first one in the stack was labeled, "Watch This First."

Turns out that, despite the soul- (and belly-) baring photos I posted yesterday, I didn't take enough! I thought I was just doing it for my blog, but the P90X guru, Tony Horton, makes it a part of the program. As a matter of fact, he makes tracking your progress a huge part of the program.

Where I thought I would be at this point typing with trembling arms and an exhilarated, exhausted feeling — or lying motionless on my living room floor mere inches from my mobile phone — I haven't yet moved a muscle towards fitness. Tony Horton insists that I take a Fit Test a few days before I start the workouts. He insists I take photos in six poses, with which I will further torture you below. He insists I take body measurements and that I get a heart monitor. There's a lot of shit I have to do before I can start this thing!

This morning, I took my usual mid-day break from the taxi and made my selections from the shelves of Dick's. I approached the checkout counter and realized I had forgotten my wallet in the car. The kid there took the items and said he would stash them there while I got it. When I came back, and he placed the "Perfect Pushups," yoga blocks, and the exercise mat on the counter, he said, "So, you're doing P90X?"

I chuckled. "It's that obvious, huh?"

He smiled. "I did it earlier this year. I bought the same stuff."

"Did you see results?" I asked.

"I went from 225 pounds down to 170."

That's 55 pounds in ninety days, people! Yet another unsolicited (well, I sorta solicited) testimonial. I'm only ten pounds away from my "ideal" weight of 170, and 15 from my goal weight. If I can do this, I will look and feel phenomenal! Really! I'll even let you feel me for your own proof!




These are the specific poses Tony Horton in-
sists I take before I begin working out, at
the 30-day point, the 60-day, and the 90.
I will very likely post progress photos
each week.