Well, not exactly setbacks, but I still haven't started. I mentioned earlier the P90X Fitness Guide and the Nutrition Guide. Other printed materials in the P90X box strongly suggested that I read both guides, so I did. And am I glad I did! There's a pre-start Fit Test that I have to take a couple days before I start the workouts to see if I'm even ready to tackle (or be tackled by, rather) P90X. It's a series of movement and strength measures to see if I'm up to the level of fitness recommended by the designers of the program. Sheesh! I hope I am, otherwise I blew some awful good money on that credit card I found....
So Tuesday I went out and bought a measuring tape, because I'm supposed to take "before" measurements of my chest, waist, upper arms, thighs, big toe on my left foot, third toe on my right, and the depth of my rectum. Why? I don't know. I just take their supplements, and suddenly I do whatever their literature commands.
Today I went back to Dick's and bought a heart rate monitor, as that is also highly recommended to use to measure whether I'm at my peak or over it. I peaked about 15 years ago, but I won't tell them if you won't.
Beyond the Fit Test, the Guides outline in pretty thick detail the workouts I'll be doing, how long they are, and what types of foods and how I should eat during each phase of the training. Where the hell I'm gonna find yak testicles is beyond me. I mean, at THIS time of year? Are you NUTS? (no pun inten... okay, yeah, I meant that.)
So I think I'll do the Fit Test during my transition break mid-day Thursday. I switch to overnights on Thursdays, so I'll get home, take a nap, wake up, measure my body, do the Fit Test, and, I hope, start working out on Sunday.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Day 1 ... NOT
I was all primed and ready to go. I had already stopped off at Dick's Sporting goods to get the plyometrics/yoga mat, the "Perfect Pushup" handle-thingies, and a couple of yoga blocks, as I had read in the quick start guide.
I moved a piece of furniture out of the way of the TV set. I set a bottle of water nearby. I pre-dialed 9-1-1 on my mobile phone so that, in the case of my heart seizing inside my chest, I would only have to press "Send" ....
But no. I opened the book of DVDs and the first one in the stack was labeled, "Watch This First."
Turns out that, despite the soul- (and belly-) baring photos I posted yesterday, I didn't take enough! I thought I was just doing it for my blog, but the P90X guru, Tony Horton, makes it a part of the program. As a matter of fact, he makes tracking your progress a huge part of the program.
Where I thought I would be at this point typing with trembling arms and an exhilarated, exhausted feeling — or lying motionless on my living room floor mere inches from my mobile phone — I haven't yet moved a muscle towards fitness. Tony Horton insists that I take a Fit Test a few days before I start the workouts. He insists I take photos in six poses, with which I will further torture you below. He insists I take body measurements and that I get a heart monitor. There's a lot of shit I have to do before I can start this thing!
This morning, I took my usual mid-day break from the taxi and made my selections from the shelves of Dick's. I approached the checkout counter and realized I had forgotten my wallet in the car. The kid there took the items and said he would stash them there while I got it. When I came back, and he placed the "Perfect Pushups," yoga blocks, and the exercise mat on the counter, he said, "So, you're doing P90X?"
I chuckled. "It's that obvious, huh?"
He smiled. "I did it earlier this year. I bought the same stuff."
"Did you see results?" I asked.
"I went from 225 pounds down to 170."
That's 55 pounds in ninety days, people! Yet another unsolicited (well, I sorta solicited) testimonial. I'm only ten pounds away from my "ideal" weight of 170, and 15 from my goal weight. If I can do this, I will look and feel phenomenal! Really! I'll even let you feel me for your own proof!
These are the specific poses Tony Horton in-
sists I take before I begin working out, at
the 30-day point, the 60-day, and the 90.
I will very likely post progress photos
each week.
I moved a piece of furniture out of the way of the TV set. I set a bottle of water nearby. I pre-dialed 9-1-1 on my mobile phone so that, in the case of my heart seizing inside my chest, I would only have to press "Send" ....
But no. I opened the book of DVDs and the first one in the stack was labeled, "Watch This First."
Turns out that, despite the soul- (and belly-) baring photos I posted yesterday, I didn't take enough! I thought I was just doing it for my blog, but the P90X guru, Tony Horton, makes it a part of the program. As a matter of fact, he makes tracking your progress a huge part of the program.
Where I thought I would be at this point typing with trembling arms and an exhilarated, exhausted feeling — or lying motionless on my living room floor mere inches from my mobile phone — I haven't yet moved a muscle towards fitness. Tony Horton insists that I take a Fit Test a few days before I start the workouts. He insists I take photos in six poses, with which I will further torture you below. He insists I take body measurements and that I get a heart monitor. There's a lot of shit I have to do before I can start this thing!
This morning, I took my usual mid-day break from the taxi and made my selections from the shelves of Dick's. I approached the checkout counter and realized I had forgotten my wallet in the car. The kid there took the items and said he would stash them there while I got it. When I came back, and he placed the "Perfect Pushups," yoga blocks, and the exercise mat on the counter, he said, "So, you're doing P90X?"
I chuckled. "It's that obvious, huh?"
He smiled. "I did it earlier this year. I bought the same stuff."
"Did you see results?" I asked.
"I went from 225 pounds down to 170."
That's 55 pounds in ninety days, people! Yet another unsolicited (well, I sorta solicited) testimonial. I'm only ten pounds away from my "ideal" weight of 170, and 15 from my goal weight. If I can do this, I will look and feel phenomenal! Really! I'll even let you feel me for your own proof!
These are the specific poses Tony Horton in-
sists I take before I begin working out, at
the 30-day point, the 60-day, and the 90.
I will very likely post progress photos
each week.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Before
As requested by some of those who read/heard me mention I was getting P90X, the "before" photos (Please realize how much it took for me to publish these, and temper your ridiculing, derisive (and, no doubt, hilarious) comments with cute little emoticons to make me believe you're just kidding):
Whatever you do, DON'T click on these to make them larger. Trust me, you don't want to do that to yourself!
Whatever you do, DON'T click on these to make them larger. Trust me, you don't want to do that to yourself!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Some Assembly Required
I opened the boxes today. One box contained the 12 DVDs, The Fitness Guide book, the Nutrition Plan book, and the fitness bands I ordered, since I don't own any dumbbells.
The other box contained the chin-up bar, which I also ordered. The chin-up bar represents my first setback in my P90Xploits. First, obviously, is the assembly. It never fails, but whenever I have to assemble something according to the pict-o-gram instructions, I always feel like an inept buffoon hunkered down on the floor, trying to imagine the way it's supposed to go together without it falling apart as I'm trying to get the holes lined up and the screws in place. Finally it was together.
The chin-up bar is one of those doorway contraptions that locks itself into place against a door frame with the aid of gravity, and with the further aid of the weight of a human body. Or, okay, a dog's body, if one could figure out how to train a dog to do chin-ups. With my new chin-up bar freshly assembled, I looked for the ideal doorway in my apartment in which to dangle helplessly while I try to move my weight in any direction that isn't sideways or down.
And?
There isn't one. The chin-up bar is designed to fit doorways up to 36 inches wide. Those in my apartment are, on average, 32 inches. But the kicker is that Every. Single. Damn. Doorway. is butted up against a wall on one side of the door frame or the other, and the chin-up bar doesn't fit in the center, or securely, in any of them.
Well, except one. In the half-bath. At the absolute farthest point in my apartment away from the TV. In the only doorway in my apartment without line-of-sight to the TV.
Once I found where I could do chin-ups, I positioned the bar in the door frame and dangled from it to make sure my assembly was sound (too soon to tell), and to make sure that my weight dangling there wouldn't crack the door frame or cause the apartment building to fracture and crumble to the ground, killing all of the tenants around me...because that would be embarrassing.
And you know what? I did a chin-up! I mean, yeah, wow, so what! But I couldn't do ANY chin-ups while I was working out with George, and I was at my strongest and fittest ever in my life! It was the most frustrating part of my time at Push Fitness. Granted, he had me try them in the middle of my workouts, and maybe I was a little fatigued. And, at my height, I started with my feet on the ground and my arms already about one-quarter bent. But still, I pulled, and I went up! I don't remember the last time I did that. I think I was 17!
The pesky chin-up bar in place.
The other box contained the chin-up bar, which I also ordered. The chin-up bar represents my first setback in my P90Xploits. First, obviously, is the assembly. It never fails, but whenever I have to assemble something according to the pict-o-gram instructions, I always feel like an inept buffoon hunkered down on the floor, trying to imagine the way it's supposed to go together without it falling apart as I'm trying to get the holes lined up and the screws in place. Finally it was together.
The chin-up bar is one of those doorway contraptions that locks itself into place against a door frame with the aid of gravity, and with the further aid of the weight of a human body. Or, okay, a dog's body, if one could figure out how to train a dog to do chin-ups. With my new chin-up bar freshly assembled, I looked for the ideal doorway in my apartment in which to dangle helplessly while I try to move my weight in any direction that isn't sideways or down.
And?
There isn't one. The chin-up bar is designed to fit doorways up to 36 inches wide. Those in my apartment are, on average, 32 inches. But the kicker is that Every. Single. Damn. Doorway. is butted up against a wall on one side of the door frame or the other, and the chin-up bar doesn't fit in the center, or securely, in any of them.
Well, except one. In the half-bath. At the absolute farthest point in my apartment away from the TV. In the only doorway in my apartment without line-of-sight to the TV.
Once I found where I could do chin-ups, I positioned the bar in the door frame and dangled from it to make sure my assembly was sound (too soon to tell), and to make sure that my weight dangling there wouldn't crack the door frame or cause the apartment building to fracture and crumble to the ground, killing all of the tenants around me...because that would be embarrassing.
And you know what? I did a chin-up! I mean, yeah, wow, so what! But I couldn't do ANY chin-ups while I was working out with George, and I was at my strongest and fittest ever in my life! It was the most frustrating part of my time at Push Fitness. Granted, he had me try them in the middle of my workouts, and maybe I was a little fatigued. And, at my height, I started with my feet on the ground and my arms already about one-quarter bent. But still, I pulled, and I went up! I don't remember the last time I did that. I think I was 17!
The pesky chin-up bar in place.
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Beginning
On New Year's Day 2009, having sustained for a couple of years the highest weight of my life, I quietly resolved to change things. I am 5'9" tall, and I weighed 210 pounds. By even the most forgiving standard, I was at least 40 pounds overweight. I had more than a spare tire; it was definitely a gut, extending over my belt and threatening to sag below it. My cholesterol numbers were high where they should have been low, and low where they should have been higher. I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes without compressing my diaphragm to the point that I had difficulty breathing.
I knew I wasn't motivated enough to start working out on my own. I also knew that, even if I were so motivated, I didn't know where to start, nor how, and would probably have injured myself if I tried.
I was employed and making decent money, so, after doing some research, I chose a personal training facility and began working with a trainer who focused on proper diet, and workout routines using mostly my own body weight, that worked on core strength as well as shoulders, arms, legs, and back, with very low emphasis on fancy machinery. I started on February 2, 2009.
Five months later I had completely changed my eating habits. I had worked out with and without my trainer faithfully and determinedly. I had dropped 20 pounds from my frame. I lost 2 inches from my waistline. I looked good and I felt great. Most importantly, I shocked my doctor by bringing my cholesterol numbers back into or very near the ideals she had outlined for me at the start of my workouts!
But in that five month period, I had also lost my job. I had already paid for my training sessions through July. They weren't cheap. After July, I had to say good-bye to my trainer and the facility that helped me make it all happen. I stuck with a fitness routine based around the relatively measly facilities provided at my apartment complex, but, admittedly, I was having difficulty feeling motivated without someone helping me, guiding me through a good variety of exercises.
Then, in September, I took a job driving a taxi, and I quickly learned that, in order to make enough money to get by in that job, I had to put in ridiculous hours. On top of that, I began chasing a dream to be a paid professional actor, and landed roles in three shows consecutively, running almost non-stop from September through April. With those occupations went any time or energy I had for working out.
Amazingly, within the first month of driving the taxi, I lost another ten pounds. I soon realized, though, that the loss was in the muscle weight I had gained in the trade-off with fat lost while working out in the spring and summer. Soon I noticed my gut getting thicker and flabbier. By April of 2010 I definitely had a spare tire again. I strained more to climb stairs. I experienced lower back pain from the weakening of those muscles. It was time to do something again, but with no disposable income, I didn't know what to do.
I started listening to progressive talk radio to kill the time when the taxi work slowed each day. I soon gravitated to The Stephanie Miller Show and heard ads for a product about which I was immediately skeptical: P90X. At least twice an hour Ms. Miller would do a live plug of the product, claiming she was using it herself, and touting the fantastic results. One of the touts, however, caught my attention. She mentioned that the exercises focused heavily on "your own body weight," without the need for expensive machinery or gimmicky gadgets. She talked about "muscle confusion," brought on by exercises that vary the movements enough that there is little repetition and, therefore, less danger of plateaus and repetition injuries. Still skeptical, I largely ignored her plugs.
Then one day I was getting some work done on the taxi cab, and was captive in front of a TV that happened to be on a channel showing an infomercial for P90X. I watched for a few minutes and, beyond the testimonials singing the praises of the product, I saw video of people doing P90X workouts. Many of the exercises were the exact same ones my personal trainer had me doing while I worked with him! Suddenly I was interested. I intended to do more research.
Almost as if by some weird karmic coincidence — if I believed in such a thing — a few evenings later I picked up two passengers from one of the bars in my work area. They started talking about "ripping those DVDs," and one of them said he wasn't too sure he wanted them. The other guy said something to the effect of, "Dude, you GOTTA do those DVDs! They are INTENSE! I've done it for three weeks, now, and my energy is up, I'm stronger than ever... I just feel great!"
Sometimes you just feel something, and you know you're right. I just knew they were talking about P90X. I interrupted their conversation. "Sorry to butt in, guys, but do you mind if I ask what you're talking about?"
"P90X!"
Now I had an unsolicited testimonial for the product. Then I noticed a Facebook friend referring to it on several occasions. Any mention I heard about it in passing was positive, almost raving.
So, finally, I ordered P90X. It arrived several days ago.
The Experiment commences.
I knew I wasn't motivated enough to start working out on my own. I also knew that, even if I were so motivated, I didn't know where to start, nor how, and would probably have injured myself if I tried.
I was employed and making decent money, so, after doing some research, I chose a personal training facility and began working with a trainer who focused on proper diet, and workout routines using mostly my own body weight, that worked on core strength as well as shoulders, arms, legs, and back, with very low emphasis on fancy machinery. I started on February 2, 2009.
Five months later I had completely changed my eating habits. I had worked out with and without my trainer faithfully and determinedly. I had dropped 20 pounds from my frame. I lost 2 inches from my waistline. I looked good and I felt great. Most importantly, I shocked my doctor by bringing my cholesterol numbers back into or very near the ideals she had outlined for me at the start of my workouts!
But in that five month period, I had also lost my job. I had already paid for my training sessions through July. They weren't cheap. After July, I had to say good-bye to my trainer and the facility that helped me make it all happen. I stuck with a fitness routine based around the relatively measly facilities provided at my apartment complex, but, admittedly, I was having difficulty feeling motivated without someone helping me, guiding me through a good variety of exercises.
Then, in September, I took a job driving a taxi, and I quickly learned that, in order to make enough money to get by in that job, I had to put in ridiculous hours. On top of that, I began chasing a dream to be a paid professional actor, and landed roles in three shows consecutively, running almost non-stop from September through April. With those occupations went any time or energy I had for working out.
Amazingly, within the first month of driving the taxi, I lost another ten pounds. I soon realized, though, that the loss was in the muscle weight I had gained in the trade-off with fat lost while working out in the spring and summer. Soon I noticed my gut getting thicker and flabbier. By April of 2010 I definitely had a spare tire again. I strained more to climb stairs. I experienced lower back pain from the weakening of those muscles. It was time to do something again, but with no disposable income, I didn't know what to do.
I started listening to progressive talk radio to kill the time when the taxi work slowed each day. I soon gravitated to The Stephanie Miller Show and heard ads for a product about which I was immediately skeptical: P90X. At least twice an hour Ms. Miller would do a live plug of the product, claiming she was using it herself, and touting the fantastic results. One of the touts, however, caught my attention. She mentioned that the exercises focused heavily on "your own body weight," without the need for expensive machinery or gimmicky gadgets. She talked about "muscle confusion," brought on by exercises that vary the movements enough that there is little repetition and, therefore, less danger of plateaus and repetition injuries. Still skeptical, I largely ignored her plugs.
Then one day I was getting some work done on the taxi cab, and was captive in front of a TV that happened to be on a channel showing an infomercial for P90X. I watched for a few minutes and, beyond the testimonials singing the praises of the product, I saw video of people doing P90X workouts. Many of the exercises were the exact same ones my personal trainer had me doing while I worked with him! Suddenly I was interested. I intended to do more research.
Almost as if by some weird karmic coincidence — if I believed in such a thing — a few evenings later I picked up two passengers from one of the bars in my work area. They started talking about "ripping those DVDs," and one of them said he wasn't too sure he wanted them. The other guy said something to the effect of, "Dude, you GOTTA do those DVDs! They are INTENSE! I've done it for three weeks, now, and my energy is up, I'm stronger than ever... I just feel great!"
Sometimes you just feel something, and you know you're right. I just knew they were talking about P90X. I interrupted their conversation. "Sorry to butt in, guys, but do you mind if I ask what you're talking about?"
"P90X!"
Now I had an unsolicited testimonial for the product. Then I noticed a Facebook friend referring to it on several occasions. Any mention I heard about it in passing was positive, almost raving.
So, finally, I ordered P90X. It arrived several days ago.
The Experiment commences.
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